Jackie Darko

Having been in public health now for two months, I have noticed something different about how I view the world. When I worked in comedy I used to walk around and make fun of strangers in my head if there was anything blatantly make-fun-able (I'm a wordsmith, I know) about them. It was a fun way to go about my day. Now, instead of making fun of strangers, I make educated guesses about the probability of when they're going to die. So not as much fun as making fun of people!

For example, I saw a fat woman the other day eating McDonald's and I thought to myself, "barring no freak tragedy, statistics would lead me to believe that that woman is going to die before me. Probably in the near future. I wonder if she knows she's going to die soon. Hmm... Someday soon her excessive weight and poor diet will kill her-- she probably has hypertension and diabetes already-- and I will be still be wandering around this earth for a bit longer when she is dead." Yes, these are the thoughts that now go through my mind. The other day I saw an old woman in a wheelchair with a breathing tube and I thought "I give her two more years at the most. In two years she will most likely be dead. I wonder if she's aware. I probably shouldn't tell her. Yeah, I'll just let her live out her days in blissful ignorance." I walked into a bar (ouch) the other night and there about 20 or so people standing outside smoking. First thought, "Statistically speaking, 10 of you will die of smoking-related causes. Suckas. Will it be you? 50/50. See you inside!"

Talk about morbid. Gee, thanks, public health school. I liked it much better when I would make fun of that fat woman stuffing her fat face with Mickey Dee's rather than predict the timing of her death. I guess a good public health worker would think "Oh dear. How can I set up a program to help this woman change her behavior and start eating healthy and increase her chances of living longer and healthier?" But I don't think that because I've learned that behavior change is hard, that it's probably too late for that woman. Maybe not for her kids, but probably for her. She's most likely not going to change, especially with McDonald's on every corner, and thus, she's going to die soon." (This wasn't supposed to turn into a rant about McDonald's, I swear). The point is, public health school has changed my perspective for the darker. I mean, it's always been dark, just not this dark.

I suppose the knowledge that people are wildly unhealthy is what drove me to go to public health school in the first place. (Well, that and the need to stop writing cheesy lines for reality hosts). I just didn't think I'd be thinking about in this way, this much. Hopefully all this darkness will drive me to do something about it. I mean, that is the point of the entire field of public health, right? We shall see. I've still got 3 quarters (and 3 finals and a paper) left. In the meantime, I'll stay away from the kitchen knives. Toodles!