Now with pictures!

Yesterday I went beyond my neighborhood of Mt. Vernon and explored downtown Baltimore and the Inner Harbor-- the touristy area. On a map it looked kind of far, but it took me a whole ten minutes to walk there from my apartment. Before I set off in that direction, I decided to check out my local communist cafe, Red Emma's, and get some iced coffee... 'cause it's damn hot in Baltimore.

Thinking maybe this could be my very own Marxist Central Perk, I was excited to check it out. The coffee was good enough, but the presumptive communist kids working behind the counter enjoyed hearing themselves wax ironic too much for the place to be conducive for studying or even tolerable for more than ten minutes. I felt like I was waiting in line at the UCB Theater... one of my least favorite things to do... where everyone is trying to one-up each other with how damn ironic they could be. Overheard at Red Emma's:

Presumptive Communist Barista #1: "Will you nominate me for a Nobel Prize?"
PCB #2: "Why?"
PCB#1: "Because it would be dope."

Also overheard:
PCB #2: "What should we listen to?"
PCB #1: "How about NPR?"
PCB #2: "Okay, I guess that's in keeping with our belief system."

I don't think I'll be returning to Red Emma's anytime soon.

Back to my exploring. I walked down to the Inner Harbor which I hadn't been to since my 6th grade graduation field trip... which, going to a Jewish day school, I thought must have included a visit to the nearest Holocaust museum, but I couldn't remember. Anyway, the Inner Harbor looked pretty much as I remember it. There were boats.

Big boats... (the USS Constellation)

paddle boats... and of course, dragon boats...

If you visit me in Baltimore, I promise I'll take you dragon boating and I'll steer clear of the docks (see: The Wire Season Two).

And speaking of The Wire. The night before my exploring, I was watching The Wire, Season Three and there was a scene (not a spoiler) where McNulty was hitting on a woman. She asked him where he worked and he responded "Legg Mason... Or I'm a Baltimore cop. I can't remember." (And I can't remember the exact phrasing). But it was something like that. And after I heard it, I thought "Legg Mason. How random." But not so random when I looked up behind me from the Inner Harbor and saw this:

Since it was so hot, I decided to head home, using a different route. It's true what I've been told about Baltimore. That the safety/crime/poverty changes block to block. One second I was at the Inner Harbor, the next I was passing by a Hustler, Lush Gentleman's Club, an adult video store, etc etc, and then next, I was back among office buildings. (I later found out I was on "the block"). As I continued my stroll, I tried to remember if my 6th grade field trip did indeed include a visit to a Holocaust museum, when, lo and behold, I passed by a Holocaust museum. And right outside the museum, sure enough there was a group of Jewish boys and girls on a school trip. Although on second glance, they could have been Mormons. Ahh, the memories.

A little bit beyond the Holocaust museum, I passed by two men asleep on a stoop, their shoes off and gangrene ablazin'. Very Bubs on a bad day (if you're going to follow my blog, you might want to brush up on The Wire). Although it was probably slightly inappropriate (but hey, I'm documenting), I snapped a picture... albeit not close enough to get a good look. But I thought the image captured what, thanks to The Wire, I imagined Baltimore to be like.

And since I'm revisiting my 6th grade field trip memories, the 6th grade sense of humor in me can't help but mention that those two men were asleep on a stoop on Gay Street. Hey, it can't all be high-brow.

And one last pic for good measure. McNulty, is that you?